Social anxiety with relationships : Social Development

Social anxiety with relationships

The reason that I have no friends is simple.

I’m just not a good enough human being to have people in my life. I am, amongst other things; selfish, ungrateful, narcissistic, uncaring, weak, worthless, grotesque, uncompassionate and evil. My voice inflicts pain on everyone I talk to. My body makes people want to vomit. My mind is that of a repulsive freak that brings pain and terror to people’s lives.

Or at least this is what my abuser convinced myself, and others, was the reason I should live an isolated life.

The real reason that I have no friends is slightly more complicated.

Social Anxiety Disorder (in a nutshell)

“Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and inferiority.

Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression.”

The most common feature of social anxiety is a constant, intense anxiety that does not go away. An anxiety that manifests itself physiologically with symptoms including: intense fear, racing heart, turning red or blushing, excessive sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling, swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches.

Like most people who suffer from anxiety disorders, someone suffering from social anxiety knows their anxiety is irrational. But knowing something is very different from believing it. Deep in my heart I know I’m none of the things my abuser called me, but her relentless, repetitive abuse made me believe that everything I listed above is who I am. Her words persist in my mind regardless of what I do to counteract them, in much the same way that social anxiety persists, despite facing the fears on a daily basis.

There are seven situations in which someone suffering from social anxiety will experience significant emotional distress. I have, throughout my life, experienced each of these on multiple occasions – each leading to a reduced level of functioning, especially in the arena of building friendships and relationships.

1. Being introduced to other people

Any childhood memories of being introduced to new people have dissolved into the sands of time, but when I was a teenager – when meeting new people is a prerequisite to be accepted – it was immensely difficult for me. When I joined my new school after moving from Scotland to Wales it took me a long time to start talking to people, with the difficulty increasing to the point of avoidance after my mental health issues took hold.

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There's some overlap with "schizotypal"

by soulman

Personality disorder...
•Eccentric perceptions, thoughts, and behaviors.
•"Magical thinking" including saying they can read minds or can foretell the future.
the other symptoms don't really tend to fit though (generally)...
•Major difficulties in forming relationships.
•Severe social anxiety that does not diminish with time or familiarity.
•May talk to themselves, ignore others, or react inappropriately.

Insecurity: How To Overcome Social Anxiety, Relationship Jealousy and Stop Feeling Insecure (Stop Being Insecure, Relationship Anxiety, Relationship Jealousy Book 1)
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Nonprofit: Mental health center offers children's camps  — The Missoulian
Camps are structured with activities for small groups and focused on social and emotional development. Activities will be provided in the new Full Circle facilities at 2921 W. Broadway. Slots will fill quickly.

The Social Interaction Guide: How to be Confident and Likeable when Socializing, and Conquer your Social Anxiety for Good
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Basic Books Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
Book (Basic Books)
The Calming Collection The Calming Collection-Goodbye Anxiety, Goodbye Fear-of flying, driving, doctors, dentists, social situations, confrontations, public speaking, relationships, and everything else **Guided Meditation and Hypnosis CD
Music (The Calming Collection)
Matrix Digital Publishing Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety: How to Boost Your Social Confidence
Audible (Matrix Digital Publishing)